Gratitude

I have read and been told several times lately that the "Gratitude Attitude" is an experience-changing and possibly life-changing attitude.

This is true.

While I am by no means attempting to portray the idea that being a stay-at-home dad is all roses and giggles--IT IS NOT!--, it certainly has its moments. What other man do you know that can wrestle and play with his boys as much as I do?

Too many fathers are work-a-holics or are just "too tired" by the time they get home to spend time with their children. My job is playing with my children. Entertaining them, feeding them, cleaning up after them, kissing their boo-boos (something I should probably do more of and less of simply saying, "If you're not bleeding, don't come crying to me"), and just being a dad.

Mind you, I don't get paid, a definite drawback, but it's worth it.

I cannot wait until I can go to work and come home and play with my boys then, but until then...I'm just grateful that I get to basically be a big kid.

(Something my wife has brought to my attention more than once. I have noticed that this comment is usually preceded by a particularly thoughtless or just plain stupid act on my part including but not limited to: splashing in the bathtub, dancing like a fool, giving piggyback/horseback rides, playing in the mud/food, and making weird faces to get my toddler to laugh)

However, there is one thing I would like.

For all of you loyal readers--if there are any--I would greatly appreciate a comment or two about your thoughts. Shoot, it can be gibberish, but I just want someone to comment about something.

Please?



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Today...

Today....was one of those days....

No, not the kind you're thinking about. It wasn't full of screaming, sticky kids who are always underfoot.

Well, it was, but it just didn't seem so bad.

Today was one of those days that I wish I could just freeze and capture every detail in memory forever. To recreate just the breeze or the warmth of the sun.

To see again the smiles of a toddler covered in grilled cheese, tator tots and apple juice.

To hear the giggling coo of a baby smiling at his mommy.

It was one of those days that just don't come along often enough when you have kids. The kind that makes you step back and wonder why every day can't be like this moment, right now. That makes you think about having another baby soon.

A family moment.

One this is SO easy to miss as we often do.

For example, I was unloading the car after a harried and stressful trip to every parent's hell: the Grocery Store. I was tired, grumpy, grouchy, and sullen. I snapped unlovingly at my wife as we got out of the car and-being the wonderful woman she is- she just let it roll right off of her.

Well, I was stomping around in the kitchen, slamming doors, trying to make sure that she knew I was upset without it looking like I was trying to make sure she knew I was upset. (I know, I'm the ONLY one who has ever done something like that, right?)

She took the kids outside and turned on the sprinklers for the toddler to play in.

--WARNING! I'M ABOUT TO GET OFF TRACK FOR A MOMENT!--
Why is it that kids will do something they enjoy, even when it makes them miserable? The sprinkler water was almost freezing and yet my toddler son just stood in the water, shivering and laughing hysterically!

--RETURN TO NORMAL PROGRAMMING--

I was about to toss a dog toy out to the two Australian Shepherd pups, grumbling about how much they cost and how worthless they are, when I stopped.

Outside stood this beautiful redhead laughing and smiling at a bald-headed baby. An energetic toddler ran with the puppies, taking turns chasing each other through the sprinkler. The smell of the water on the grass wafted through the open window, and I suddenly realized:

I HAVE EVERYTHING!!

That beautiful woman was mine and she loved me! Those two kids were mine and they loved me, depended on me.

Trusted me.

And here I was grumbling about being tired.

I'm going to be a little shamefully honest here: Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't believe what God had entrusted me with. This beautiful family was mine, and I was theirs.

(Personally, I think I got the better end of the deal, just ask my sisters. Their first words when they saw my wife were, and I quote, "I can't believe he got such a beautiful woman!" No joke. I don't deny it. I married up!)

So, just remember, the next time you're getting a little...shall we say, "crabby"?...just take a look at what God has given you. You don't have to look any further than your own backyard.

 But instead of looking out your window....

Turn around....

And look inside...

The Stand Alone Man

There is nothing more rewarding than being a Stay-At-Home dad.

There is also nothing more intense and insane.

I am the proud father of two boys, 17 month old L. and 3 month old C..

As of right now, though, it is a daily struggle to stay sane.

The other day, for example, L found out that Honey Nut Cheerios that have been slightly moistened with milk can stick to nearly any flat surface, including-but not limited to- the table, the wall and Daddy's face.

C, however, is still at that stage where he can be really cute. The other day, he discovered his foot. He spent nearly half an hour just staring at his foot, grabbing it occassionally and looking at me to make sure I noticed.

Ten minutes later, he found it again and repeated the process.

And then, there are those occassions when L interacts with C.

They smile and laugh, and I smile too, enjoying the silence and comraderie and peace for just a brief moment.

Before L pokes C in the eye and all memories of peace and quiet are forgotten and its a struggle to just stay calm.

But, all in all, I love being a stay at home dad.

For those of you who are thinking that this is an easy job, why don't you try offering your wife an entire week off and take care of the kids by yourself.

At first, I thought being a stay at home dad was basically like being a big brother. I'd wrestle with him, play catch, teach him to talk and walk.

While I do ALL of those things, there is MUCH more to consider.

There is laudry, dishes, cleaning the house, feeding the dogs, feeding the kids, playing with the kids, nap time, bed time, and bath time.

I change diapers, wash slobber, vomit, urine and feces off of my hands and shirt almost daily.

I'm not going to lie to you: it's rough. There are more days than not when I want to just throw myself out of an airplane without a parachute, but you know what?

I wouldn't change it for the world.